Deadly Goosebumps

Now you know that you give me goosebumps
The sad part is that you take advantage of facts
I wasn’t trying to be nice to get your attention
I was just trying to be an acquaintance
That’s all that mattered to me
Only when I thought we were working
The waves came up against me
Just like they always do
Like a tsunami
Someone should have warned me
There were probably some wailing sirens
But I didn’t hearken
I didn’t want to listen
I came to terms with the fact that I’ll never find happiness
Never will I get what I want
When it comes to wanting you
You eat me up from inside out..

The pain kills me but somehow I find a way to see the light again.
But the light blinds me and I can’t see that I’m falling.
Literally having a hard rockfall.
In hopes you’ll pick me up.
But you didn’t notice I was in trouble anyway.

I hate fate.
This part of my life that just made a promise to never let you go.
I swear I want to stub you out of my way
But I need your help,
I can’t kill what I’d never had.

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Seems like rumors are what you believe
You listened to them
Remember in that dream..???
Remember..??
You said I’m the only thing that matters to you
You forgot to include the part that it was a joke.
You said you cared
I held on to that.
I don’t wanna let loose
This animal in me that keeps roaring your name
I hate it…
But it keeps me moving.

My legs can’t walk at all now
You forced me use the damned clutches
I ran to you but you pushed me down the range
I came out to you with rage
You switched my throat off
My voice is gone..
I can’t tell you the truth because you didn’t let me.
But you are too busy to notice that.
I’m scared that my hands are getting useless
They can only scribble your name
I’m scared I’m losing my mind too
Left, right , center,
Coast, Sahara,
North, South, East , West
My world revolves around you

But you’re too far Greenwich to notice that your light could revive my dim
See,I’m scared that my only friend is your ghost.
You scrapped mine off.
You sent them away.
See,I’m afraid you took my heart too
It only beats for the day you’ll be mine

This goosebumps will never leave my skin
Just like your existence in my void
Or so I keep lying to myself
I’m scared that I’ll never have my life back.
I’m scared that no one will burry my bones.
I’m scared that my ghost will only see it’s way to haunting you.
I’m scared that your heart is too hard..
Stone cold.
To put this fact right through your head…

I don’t blame you.
The blame is all on my irises
They saw you,
Dug my grave,
Planted flowers,
And now I’m lying there
Not in peace
Just wishing that you’d come and spit.
Maybe then,, I’ll be at peace with the fact that I was nothing to you.
My love will remain
But my desperation will fade.
I’m looking forward to that day.
Maybe then,,my fears will be confirmed.
I’ll never have my life back.
But please,
Bring me back my peace.

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