An ex-friend has been hard on me over my remarks of not forgiving cheating women. Let’s break this down.
Apparently both genders cheat, but in two very different ways;
Men cheat because the sky is blue, it’s biological for us, and we crave for sexual novelty and very poor self-restraint. We can cheat just because we are horny and a woman was available and consented to it. Sex is well separated from love and feelings for us.
Cheating is more cerebral for women; it is more of a calculated task. Women f*** strategically, it’s never a ‘mistake’ or ‘ just happened’ unless she was drugged which means RAPE.
She has to think it over, build it in her mind as a concept, ponder over it and decide to do it or reject it. She has at the moment seen you as a much better individual than her guy. THAT is where the problem is.
Two very different intents, motives and reasons to cheat. Both instances are painful, it’s no pleasure finding out you were cheated on, but we should be wise enough to acknowledge they are different instances.
I always say if cheating was a sport, men would be amateurs, doing it for fun and having the chance to.
On the other hand, women are professionals who have future plans already, which mostly is ‘kupindua serikali’ (“overthrowing the government”).
Do you know why it’s easy to forgive a man who cheated even if he’s married? There’s an over 70% chance, he still loves her woman and adores her, and he just got bored of having sex with her. This gender is naturally polygamous since time immemorial and history plainly depicts and supports that.
We can and we do separate sex the act from love the feeling and it’s a very important aspect to cheating. Our loyalty and admiration for our woman is more likely to be the same even while and after cheating, can women say the same?
Meanwhile she is clearly putting a message across that she’s found a more worthy mate for herself; someone she desires, respects and adores. As emotional and submissive as women are in nature, she would never hold any other person superior to her man by giving them access to their emotional core of love and sex UNLESS, she has vetted and found it better and satisfying to be with this new person.
Sex is monopolistic, women hold the full authority and control of who gets between their legs and consent to the act. This means in the pool of men she’s interacted with, she already has the list of who can and who will.
This means she has to filter out and see those worth risking a baby for.
Do you see how much sex means to women? Does it mean that much to a man?
I’m not invalidating cheating as a very immoral trait and deed, but we’d be lying if we both don’t accept that there are two different types/forms of cheating and the ones I’ve said are the major ‘reasons’ for cheating in both genders.
You are a shitty person for cheating.
And I still will never forgive any woman for cheating on me (I can forgive but I WON’T take her back).
If you loved yourself na unajiheshimu (and respect yourself), you wouldn’t take back anybody who disrespects you like that.