Respect is paramount in relationships

By Bosire Denis


I’ve been trying to figure out the basic requirements a man has of his woman; is it sex, commitment, loyalty, or admiration? All these are the mandatory minimum but you must not forget Respect.

A man wants a woman that respects him and respects herself. 

‘Respect is earned not given’ is a common phrase but no one ever tells you that respect starts with you. Respect yourself as a man, respect your frame and her respect will come automatically.

A woman that respects herself won’t have you embarrassed in her actions and will most definitely create a classy look attached to her aura. Which man wouldn’t want that?

Women’s love is rooted in respect, it breeds adoration and admiration and she will invariably fall in love with you. A woman who can’t respect you can’t love you. Once she loses the respect she has for you, it’s a wrap. A woman who can’t love you cannot respect you.

In what is branded as male chauvinism or insecurity, therein lies the biggest disrespect being accorded. Enforce boundaries, not to protect your ego but to ensure she stays in line. Boundaries tell her you respect yourself and in that she respects you, but if she discovers you don’t respect yourself, she won’t respect you either.

She wants to post nude and semi-nude photos of herself online for the public masses; she doesn’t respect the commitment. Your attention isn’t enough that she’s outsourcing.

She’s flirting with other men in your presence or absence, she wants to solely appeal to the male company because apparently ‘women are too much drama and a nuisance’; she doesn’t respect your frame and thinks there lies a man with a more powerful frame whom she can submit to.

She wants to challenge you in public or airs your shortcomings; she doesn’t respect the partnership in a relationship. Isn’t it certain that the shame of one partner is the embarrassment of the other? She sees you less to her and not of her aspired level.

Don’t bargain with yourself over what to tolerate, create the line and once it’s crossed, ask her to leave or just face the door yourself. If you have to compromise your happiness, respect, and frame, it’s purely a matter of time before the click clock turns to click click bang, it will explode on you.

The ‘No or Go’ language has served me well: where something I haven’t or wouldn’t permit has been committed, you leave.

I came across this recently:

If she’s not your woman, learn to say NO to these;

1. Sending fare

2. Being the ever available ‘nice’ guy so you can fit in her goody-good books

3. Made to wait, whether it’s for sex or for her time

4. Being a BFF when you are interested in her. Basically, you are her ‘girlfriend’.

 If she’s your woman frequently say No just because, for no apparent reason. Trust me she’ll respect you.

You have the power of choice, if you tolerate it, you encourage it. A woman is like a child, if you let a kid pee on a tree today, he’ll turn it into a forever trend, so are women, if you let them cross a line and they go freely, it will become a norm to her.

Punish her disrespect without failure or hesitation, in the disciplining of her actions, you are loving her and correcting her. Punishing isn’t assaulting her, never beat a woman. Retract your attention and availability.

Only dissolute simping men and beg, these I’ve found to be WhatsApp status ‘love and heartbreak poets’, self-appointed feminists who claim to be in support of all women’s actions. And it does come with its repercussions. A proper man knows too much freedom has its costs and avoids it.

Dear women, all men, no matter their work, race, ethnicity, social position, and religion, demand respect from their woman. Everybody else may disrespect him but his woman should always respect him, his decisions, and choices. He should in return reward the respect.

 Own your dignity and respect, never compromise it. Let her respect your time; overprice your presence and attention. There is NO partial respect, either she respects you or she doesn’t. You influence that.

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