It’s domestic,but personal

Don’t see me resting under the banana tree looking into space or building castles and ask what’s bothering me.
Don’t look at the empty pages of my journal and ask where my inspiration comes from.
Don’t look into my eyes and lie that you’ll help me deal with my situation.
Don’t you dare touch my bare hand and tell me that you know what I’m going through.
NO! PLEASE DON’T!

I know you are just saying that to make me feel good.
Of course you weren’t there when my mom yelled at dad.
You were not there when she said harsh words to him.
You were not anywhere close to my house when she looked at him and said that he’ll die having not made peace with his daughter.
When did reprimands become brusque..???

I think I’m living in the wrong generation where a woman has less regard for her husband.
I’m sorry I’m saying this but I’d be more sorry if I never did.
You keep yapping about my sexuality.
You keep screaming to everyone that I’m lost,
But am I ?
Have you seen my parents ?

I’ve always had a normal family life.
This is the last thing anyone would want taken from them.
But honestly,
Sometimes you are made to feel like a burden.
Sometimes it feels like it’s your fault folks are in bad terms.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be normal.
Every time there is hope, it is turned off and shattered a whole 360.
But I don’t blame anyone
We all know what we want at the end of the race.
Happiness,
Peace,
Wealth,
Large tracts of land,
Satisfaction of how we have lived,
Successful and happy children,
Whatever you’ve worked for since your early days.
Since you decided to declare those vows in the presence of hundreds.
You gotta struggle to keep what you signed up for even if it gets hard sometimes.
It’s never easy.

But don’t let you forget that those seeds you planted will grow into what you shape them.
Your kids will always think back.
Thing is, not everyone is meant for this.
People deal with their demons different.
But no matter what demons you got,,
No one needs to feel your negative energy.
You can learn how to live with them.
Be harmless,,
Keep your peace.

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