A Letter to me

Hey. It’s me.
Well, technically it’s you. It’s us.
Us that knows only of nights, no days, no sun.
I tried to hold on,
I gripped till my fingers hurt,
But you kept throwing stones at me,
I tried to heal,
But you tore me apart,
I tried to smile,
It ended in trickles of tears,
I tried to be brave,
But oh, the fear,
I tried to forgive,
You kept giving me reasons not to,
I tried to live,
You made sure I was dead.

I won’t blame you,
I know you are going through a lot too,
I know nobody knows that your pillow is covered in tears,
I know nobody can see the hurt behind your smile,
I know nobody knows about all the skeletons hidden so well behind your closet full of designer wears,
I know they read your poems and praise you for your artistic works,
Oblivious of all the pain you go through,
I know they see your scars and think you are stronger than what tried to hurt you,
Not knowing that it took all of you to hurt you.
I know you look at the night sky,
And relate a lot to it,
I know you love the sound of rainfall
Because then, you can cry loudest
I know in the dead of night,
When you have cried till you can cry no more,
I know you have wished to make it stop,
I know you wish to jump off this train,
I know what follows doesn’t scare you,
I know you didn’t mean to kill me.

I hope you will learn to forgive,
Learn to forgive yourself,
I hope you will learn to heal,
Learn to heal your wounds,
I hope you will learn to love,
Learn to love your flaws.
Learn to love every inch of your being,
I know you are a giver,
But this time,
I hope you will learn to give yourself a second chance,
I hope you learn to give yourself some peace,
I hope that someday,
Your smile won’t be hiding your hurt,
And that your tears will be of joy.
I hope that you will love how the stars twinkle at night,
And how the first drop of rain touches the ground,
I hope you will love to watch the sunrise.

©feddiesharkhy

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